“The Warlord Wants Forever”, Kresley Cole – Review, #abookaweek

And… Here we are.
I’m sorry for the delay, but these last few days have been pretty hectic and my internet connection decided to abandon me – poor wi-fi, it wasn’t exactly its fault that there are some renovations going on in my neighbourhood and the line was in the middle of them.
Anyway, today I’ll post the reviews for both books I read for the first two weeks of #abookaweek challenge, starting with the first one of my list: The Warlord wants Forever by Kresley Cole – yep, that’s me holding my dear e-reader. You can also see part of my pajamas sleeve. Dark green… I love that colour!

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This book is the first one of a series called “The Immortal after Dark“.
From what I gathered, The Warlord wants Forever is classified as a prequel of sort, a short story – it’s under two-hundred pages – to start the real series.
The story talks about Myst, a beautiful Valkyrie, and Nikolai Wroth, a “ruthless” vampire general that finds in the seductive Valkyrie… his bride – cliché much, uh?
They met in some particular circumstances – she’s a prisoner of another vampire, one of the “bad ones”, when he found her in her cell. The thing is… She wasn’t a real prisoner. She let herself get caught to be able to gather information about these vampires and their faction.
When Nikolai tries to gather info from her, she “re-awakens” him, letting him – and herself in the meantime – know that she is his bride, the one and only able to make his heart beat again.
With a beating heart comes flowing blood, and with blood flowing again… comes morning wood, let’s say?
Nikolai’s sexual appetite is awakened and he has to – he must! – bed her to be finally complete and get rid of that tension – and erection – that will only be sated by having sex with his bride – the lovely Myst, yes.
Little Myst then decides to use this particular to her advantage and when her sisters come to the rescue, she leaves him there with his need not sated.
She escapes and he chases after her for five long years – long because his need can’t be satisfied by anyone else other than his bride and he’s lived those years with a raging erection and no means to make it go away, to reach a climax.
When he finally catches her, he fortuitously find the means to enslave her to his whims – and make her pay for the five years of repressed sexual hunger, and raging erection. Did I tell you about the raging erection? No? Well, the author let us know about it very thoroughly.
Anyway, Nikolai takes her to his nest (ah!) and makes her his – and that part is the tricky one for those not into non-con or dub-con. Myst is forced to be with him, even if it seems that she wants it? I would call it dub-con anyway, because she’s a slave to instincts and magic (you’ll know what I mean when or if you read it. Can’t tell you every little thing, right? What’s the pleasure of a lecture, then?)
At this point, we have reached the last chapters of the book – yes, we have. More then two thirds of the book is gone and we are waiting for all the questions to be answered in less than fifty pages.
From this point on, the book rushes to its end and the happily ever after (?), where we find a Wroth that stupidly decides to let everything go to hell for a misunderstanding – really, Nikolai? – and a Myst that forgives and forgets thanks to what she deems a spectacular sex session. Everything ends with Myst confessing to always have had a crush on him, since he was a human warrior (Wtf, Myst? When did that happen?), and the two bonded together.
Now, this reading was a light one. Started the book before going to bed and finished it in less than a couple of hours.
Nothing much to say apart that this was kind of ridiculous.
Myst is a complex character but not because she’s well depicted or has layers of complex personality, no… but because she’s completely bipolar: first she’s kind of a witch with nothing but contempt and maliciousness, then she’s like a cute kitten, then she’s a witch again and makes a riot with a cry à la Captain America for her freedom, then she’s like a schoolgirl with her first crush – and so on.
The background story is confusing and it doesn’t really give what it should: a background.
Nikolai is pretty linear for the whole book with not many changes, but that’s not a good thing: his psyche and personality are never explained throughout the whole book, personality-wise he has no distinct traits – if not the bossiness and bloody sexism – making him a flat character, and a boring one at that.
The sex, of which people wrote poems of grandeur about it in their reviews, is nothing major – at all. A couple of scenes not really well written and with too much emphasis of how big and juicy the male genitalia was and how much any woman would (should) beg and beg for it (seriously?!).
The other Valkyries are similar to Myst in their bipolarism – they’re wrathful, and crazy, and seriously sociopathic with no basis for them to be.
I hated that the author described one of the most interesting character in Norse mythology like crazy witches with a penchant for blood and war, no matter if the battle is worthy or not.
The bright side? Mmh, you can find the e-book for free on the internet?
Joking aside, I liked the creativity – even if the author ruined many a creature with her creativity. So, maybe, not liked-liked. I should say that I liked the effort of trying to put forth some of her creativity, maybe? Cole put out there a whole pletora of dark creatures that ranges from mythology to folklore, so kudos for the effort.
Do I generally recommend this book? No.
Do I recommend this book for a couple-of-hours-reading when you have nothing more to read and want something light with vampires and a couple of sex scenes? Mmh, maybe, if you don’t have good standards for your books and are fans of a vampiric Mr Grey from the 18th century – and there are better fanfictions out there, guys. Way better.
And now, my dear readers, onto the next great adventure!
What’s the second book from the list? No other than the first novel on the series we talked about in this post: A Hunger like no Other.
I’m giving you another chance, Mrs Cole. Lets’ see what you’ve got and if all the hype about your books  – and name – is really worth the time spent to read them 😉
The Cat Lady
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One thought on ““The Warlord Wants Forever”, Kresley Cole – Review, #abookaweek

  1. Pingback: “A Hunger like no Other”, Kresley Cole – Review, #abookaweek | The Tea Bookroom

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